Category Archives: Autism

With COVID-19 We Lost Touch with Humanity

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Yesterday was a sad day for me. What I thought could be an awakening for society has been nothing but a complete disappointment. I knew that COVID-19 would not bring about anything good. But I felt with people staying home spending time with their loved ones, reflecting on their lives, and connecting with nature might bring out their love for life which is buried deep within. That people will forget about living just to work and fulfill their greed for material things or be better than their neighbor, friend, family, etc. Unfortunately, it did not happen.

Amid this COVID-19 scenario, I followed the social distancing 80% of the time, leaving my home only to see my elderly mother and to work on Mondays where I’m alone in the office. Most of our shopping is online except for groceries. But this week, I ventured out twice. I visited the supermarket and a hobby store. For me, it was the saddest shopping experience I’ve ever had, and here’s why.

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My first shopping experience was at the supermarket. It was not empty, but there were fewer people than usual. I noticed the social distancing right away, and that’s okay. I also noticed how social distancing had changed people’s behavior. I was at the deli counter, waiting on my order. The junior male employee was wearing a mask but no gloves. He was very polite. For me, the mask is uncomfortable, and I only wear it while out in public, so I can imagine how hard it must be for him to wear it anywhere from 6 to 8 hours a day. Anyhow, he finished my order and called for the next person, a middle-aged woman. While I arranged my deli items in the cart, the middle-aged woman began asking the employee why he was not wearing any gloves because it defeated the purpose of wearing a mask. The employee responded politely, but I could not hear what he was saying since I walked away.

Suddenly I heard the woman yell, “Do you understand what I mean by it defeating the purpose of wearing a mask if you’re not wearing gloves and touching things everyone else touches?”

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I didn’t understand why she felt the need to berate the deli employee when she did not have on any gloves or mask. Why scold him when he’s out there working so we can all have the things we need? I would not let that affect me, so I continued to complete my grocery list. Among the COVID-19 social distancing changes is the one-way aisles. I don’t watch or read the news, so I wasn’t aware of the supermarkets implementing it. Since I don’t walk around looking at the floor, I didn’t notice. I saw the dirty looks at me from other shoppers. It wasn’t until I had crossed three aisles that I finally realized why the dirty looks when I glanced at the floor. Oops! 

When I arrived home, I shared the experience with my husband. So he shared what happened at the supermarket when he went to pick up a few things a couple of days ago. He told me a woman was wearing a mask with a political message on it. Another woman who didn’t have a mask asked the mask wearer why was she wearing a mask if her political party does not agree with that. According to my husband, the masked woman lowered her mask and blurted out the words, “F… Y…” to the other woman. There was no need for either woman to ask or to respond in such form. People need to mind their own business. It was rude to respond such as the above, but what business does the other woman have to ask?

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The other shop experience I came across was at a hobby store. There were barely any shoppers, maybe a dozen, when my mom and I arrived at the store. I knew what I wanted, so I intended to go straight to that section, grab it, pay, and get out. But here’s what I noticed. You’re walking up an aisle and meet another person. They will either run away from you as fast as possible or turn left or right, whichever is closest. If you don’t have a mask, prepare yourself to receive a dirty look. There’s no “hello,” or “that’s an excellent product,” or anything said. And, if you want to ask an employee for help, make sure you have a good pair of lungs so you can shout out your questions from at least 6 ft away!

Where am I going with this? There’s no love left, no warm smiles, or helping hands. Everyone seems on guard, rude, and don’t care for one another anymore. Things are getting worse every day and just because of a pandemic. I wonder how many people have noticed this. How many people have sat to think about what is happening and what it means? I believe we should protect ourselves, but what’s happening is ruining people’s spirits.


Are we really protecting ourselves? No, we’re not. Germs are rampant throughout the air when in enclosed premises. Just because we wear a mask does not mean we will not get sick, especially if it’s not the proper mask. When we go shopping, we first take a cart or basket others used. Not every store is cleaning their carts or baskets, and not everyone walks around with disinfectant wipes to do so. Then we pick up an item that who knows how many people have touched it with germy hands. They do not spray those items with decontaminants either. We proceed to pay using their keypad to key in our pin or swipe our credit card. Some stores place a plastic cover over the keypad. Okay, the keypad is safe, but the germs are now on the plastic cover. There goes the “germ-free” environment! We have passed them on to our vehicle, which we will sit in, drive, and carry those germs into our home. Think about it; it’s the same everyday situation without a pandemic. It’s no different. You can catch any disease this way, so it does not protect us from anything. We have complied to become inhuman, uncaring, and misunderstanding. 

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I understand we should take care of ourselves. But we should do it the same way we take care to avoid getting the flu or any other virus. Not by ignoring each other. That’s not socially distancing. That’s being rude. I, too, understand no one wants to die, even though that’s the one thing we will for sure have in life. But the fact is, when our time arrives, it doesn’t matter how but it will happen. I’m not insensitive, and I apologize if you think I am. I lost my oldest son 13 years ago, so I know the pain of losing a loved one. I know THE worst pain of losing a loved one and don’t want to experience it again. But it’s a reality that we will face.

I’m not saying to not protect yourself. I agree with protecting ourselves, but why do it in such a way? Why give a person the stink eye because they don’t have a mask? It’s not mandatory in Florida, so they are not breaking any laws. Why bother with comments to those that wear a mask or don’t wear gloves? What good does it do to criticize the store staff if they do or don’t wear protective gear? If it affects you that much, then don’t go out. A simple “Hello” or “Have a pleasant day,” won’t kill you. It can improve your day. You might not agree with me, but that’s how I feel. We are living in the saddest times of our lives with no proper reason. We just lost touch with humanity.

Why Is It So Hard to Call Your Parents?

Is the expression, “the phone works both ways,” valid when it comes to our elderly parents? Is it justified to not call the person who raised you and cared for you because they don’t call you? Or is it just ignorance from some?

I recently attended a party and the conversation came up by one of the attendees (John) about his father. John was talking about his elderly father. His father recently called and during their conversation mentioned that John never calls him. He told his father that the phone worked both ways.

I’ve known John for many years now. I am aware that his father does not live locally and is in his late 70’s. I also know that John was raised by his mother and father. I never heard of any negligence or bad childhood experiences. John’s father worked two jobs all his life to sustain his family. So I believe he must have been a good provider. Therefore, I was shocked to hear those words from John.

I immediately reminded John that his dad was close to his 80’s. I told him to understand that all his dad wants is to hear from his son. John was adamant that his dad should initiate the call. And, not expect John to call first. I told John to think of it in a different way. “Put yourself in his shoes. How would you feel if your kids didn’t call or visit you.” His response was, “I don’t have kids.”

It made me sad. Not that John didn’t have kids, but his reaction to his father’s phone call. There are so many children that don’t have a father figure in their lives. So many children are longing for that fatherly figure to talk to, interact with and follow their steps. It made me sad to know that there are parents that gave their all to support their family and are forgotten as soon as the children become adults. It is very sad.

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My dad is almost 80 and lives over 1000 miles away. I do not see him often. In fact, last time I saw my dad was about 3 years ago. But I speak with my dad on the phone at least once a month if not more. I do not mind calling him. I enjoy hearing his stories. I get many gardening tips from him. We talk for almost an hour on average and I make sure to let him know that I love him.

So tell me, am I being too sensitive, ridiculous or old-fashioned? Or am I right to feel that our elderly parents deserve to hear and have frequent visits from us? I understand that not everyone had a good experience with their parents. But, regarding those that did, what’s your take on this subject?


Diary of a Grieving Mother’s Heart

Diary Of A Grieving Mother’s Heart is a compilation of my grieving journals, rants, sadness, and joy. I’ve been through many different scenarios – both good and bad – which have helped me reach the place of peace that I now have. My intention in writing this book is to help other grieving parents reach the place of peace that I have. If I can help at least one parent, then I am happy.

I invite you to explore my journey and I pray that, as it helped me, it will help you. You can find it on Amazon in paperback and in Kindle version too.

Is It Human Nature To Judge?

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We Judge Without Knowing

We, humans, have a tendency to judge sometimes without even noticing it. Why do I say we? Because I have done it too. I don’t like judging people and never do intentionally. Let me explain myself.

Birthday Party Celebration

A week ago I was at a birthday party for a 16-year-old which I’ll call Ann. Among the visitors was Ann’s 6-year-old cousin, which I’ll call Becky. Becky is autistic. I don’t know what type of Autism she has. She does speak and is quite hyper. Her mom, which I’ll call Catherine, kept an eye on her daughter at all times. Believe me, she did not sit down to chit-chat with anyone.

Party Gone Wrong

Catherine was ready to leave so she gathered Ann’s belongings and said her good-byes, as well as Ann. Someone opened the door and Ann sprung out with her Catherine right behind her. As Catherine was approaching her opened vehicle she sees that Ann was not in the vehicle.

The Search Begins

Catherine looked around and didn’t see Ann. She shouted Ann’s name but there was no answer. Catherine returned to the house and asked if Ann had come back inside by any chance. We didn’t see her come back inside but searched the house. Where is Ann? All visitors still hanging out at the party sprang into action searching for Ann. Most walked a few gathered their vehicles and circled the neighborhood. The neighbors began looking once they knew that a 6-year-old autistic child was missing.

She Outran Everyone

Some people did spot her and Ann outran anybody that tried to catch her. She would not stop. A woman told us that at one point she blocked Ann’s path with her car. The woman placed her car in park and got out. Ann ran between two houses and evaded the woman. She could see Ann eyeing alternative routes. The police were on their way and they immediately released their K-9 dog to trace her down. They received calls of a little girl with Ann’s description running past by the Dollar Tree. Ann had run out of the subdivision and was quick to evade all those looking for her. There was even a drone searching the area which police had released.

The Search Is Over

Catherine managed to stay calm and answer the deputy’s questions. The deputy at the house with us received a call. The deputies found Ann. She was 2.3 miles away at a vacant lot where a new subdivision was being built. There were 8 deputies surrounding her who tried to coerce her to come to them with her favorite toy. She paced from side to side, like if getting ready to run at any given moment. Ann kept them on edge while they desperately tried to close in on her. Catherine’s presence was needed because they knew Ann would not allow them to get any closer.

The Mother-Daughter Reunion

Catherine was taken to Ann on a patrol car running through lights and intersections. Catherine was in shock and doubted that the child was indeed her Ann. She thought Ann could not possibly have run that far. When they finally arrived, Catherine was overwhelmed with joy when she saw her beautiful child. Catherine collapsed to the ground and called out to Ann. Ann ran to her mother and they embraced in a hug and had a little mother-daughter moment.

How Did Ann Do It?

It was such a relief to see Catherine walk in with Ann. How did this little girl appear 2.3 miles away from the house? We don’t know. Thank God she is safe. Yes, Ann is an autistic child and a very smart one too. The way she outran the woman who blocked her path and reroutes her way through; the way she manages to cross two busy streets and end up at a vacant lot where there was a new subdivision going up; and to keep 8 officers on edge trying to figure out where to cut through, takes a lot of analyzing from a 6-year-old.


What Does This Story Have to do With Judging?

Well, I’ve read about similar cases or heard them on the news and the first words out of our mouths are, “Where were the parents?” That’s the problem! We immediately judged the parents without knowing. In Ann’s case, I know for a fact that Catherine was there with her daughter. She walked out right behind her daughter. In a blink of an eye, Ann had dashed away from her mother’s sight and disappeared.

Moral of the story

Let’s agree to never judge anyone for any reason. We just don’t know what’s going on in their life.


Diary of a Grieving Mother’s Heart

Diary Of A Grieving Mother’s Heart is a compilation of my grieving journals, rants, sadness, and joy. I’ve been through many different scenarios – both good and bad – which have helped me reach the place of peace that I now have. I invite you to explore my journey and I pray that, as it helped me, it will help you. You can find it on Amazon in paperback and in Kindle version too.

Available on Amazon