Category Archives: Life

Is It Human Nature To Judge?

Photo by Matheus Bertelli from Pexels

We Judge Without Knowing

We have a tendency to judge sometimes without even noticing it. I say “we” because I have done it too. I dislike judging people and never do it intentionally. Here’s what I recently learned.

Birthday Party Celebration

I had an invitation to Ann’s birthday party. Among the visitors was Ann’s 6-year-old cousin, Becky. Becky is autistic. I don’t know what type of Autism she has. She speaks and is quite hyper. Her mom, Catherine, monitored her daughter at all times. Believe me, she did not sit down to chit-chat with anyone.

people walking on hanging bridge during daytime

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

Party Gone Wrong

Catherine was ready to leave, so she gathered Becky’s belongings and said her goodbyes, and so did Becky. Within seconds, someone opened the door and Becky sprung out. Catherine was right behind her. But, as Catherine approached her vehicle, which she had opened remotely, she did not see Becky.

The Search Begins

Catherine began calling Becky in and around her vehicle. But there was no sign of her. She shouted Becky’s name to no avail. Catherine returned to the house and asked if, by any chance, Becky had come back. No one saw her come back inside, but we searched the house, anyway. We couldn’t waste time, so we placed a call to the police. Meanwhile, all the party-goers sprung into action, searching for Becky. Most walked, a few others gathered their vehicles and circled the neighborhood. Even the neighbors joined in on the search once they realized that a 6-year-old autistic child was missing.

Jon Kabat-Zinn Meditation series 123

She Outran Everyone

Some people spotted her, but Becky outran anybody that tried to catch her or call her name. She would not stop. A woman told us that at one point she blocked Becky’s path with her car. The woman placed her car in park and got out to get to Becky. But Becky ran between two houses and evaded the woman. She could see Becky eyeing alternative routes. The police were on their way and once they arrived, they immediately released their K-9 to track Becky down. There were calls from witnesses eyeing a little girl with Becky’s description running past the strip mall on the primary avenue. Becky ran out of the subdivision, crossing two main roads, passing restaurants and stores on the strip mall. She was quick to evade all those searching for her. The police released a drone to help with the search.

The Search Is Over

Meanwhile at the house was Catherine. Even though desperate and worried about her daughter, she calmly answered the deputy’s questions. A few minutes into the interrogation, the deputy received a call. They had located Becky, but they needed Catherine’s help. Becky was 2.3 miles away from the house at a vacant lot where a new subdivision was being built. According to the deputy’s account, there were eight of them surrounding Becky trying to coerce her to come to them with her favorite toy. She paced from side to side as if searching for a large enough space between the deputies to run through. Becky kept them on edge while they desperately tried to close in on her. The deputies knew Becky would not allow them to get any closer.

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The Mother-Daughter Reunion

Catherine rode in a patrol car. For Catherine, they could not get there fast enough. They sped through red lights and intersections hoping to make it before Becky found a loophole to escape. Catherine was in shock and doubted that the child was her Becky. She thought, “Becky could not possibly have run this far,” but still had a glimmer of hope. Once they arrived, Catherine cried with joy when she saw her beautiful child. The deputy opened the patrol car’s door and Cathering ran out before collapsing on her knees.

She called out to her daughter, “BECKY, COME HERE TO MAMA!”

Becky ran to her Catherine, and they embraced in the most beautiful and loving mother-daughter hug.

photography of woman carrying baby near street during daytime

Photo by Sai De Silva on Unsplash

How Did Becky Do It?

It was such a relief to see Catherine walk in with Becky. Other than a few scrapes, she was fine. But, we still ask ourselves, how did this little girl appear 2.3 miles away from the house? We don’t know. Thankfully she was safe. Yes, Becky is an autistic child and a very smart one too. The way she outran the woman who blocked her path and rerouted her way through. The way she crosses two busy streets and ends up at a vacant lot where there was a new subdivision going up. And, to keep eight officers on edge trying to figure out where to cut through, takes a lot of analyzing from a 6-year-old.

What Does This Story Have to do With Judging?

I’ve read about similar cases and the first words out of our mouths are, “Where were the parents?”

That’s the problem! We immediately judge the parents without knowing. In Becky’s case, I know for a fact that Catherine was there with her daughter. She walked out right behind her daughter. In a blink of an eye, Becky had dashed away from her mother’s sight and disappeared.

Moral of the story

Let’s agree not to judge others. We just don’t know what’s going on in their life.



Diary of a Grieving Mother’s Heart

Diary Of A Grieving Mother’s Heart is a compilation of my grieving journals, rants, sadness, and joy. I’ve been through many different scenarios – both good and bad – which have helped me reach the place of peace that I now have. I invite you to explore my journey and I pray that, as it helped me, it will help you. You can find it on Amazon in paperback and in Kindle version too.

Available on Amazon

Life After the Loss of Our Child

I Need A Magic Wand

I’m not perfect and I don’t have it all figured out. I am at a good place in my grieving process. So, when I see someone who I’ve befriended on Facebook or that I know struggling with the grief of losing their son/daughter it breaks my heart. I wish I could help them get to that place of peace that I have reached. I would love to help them try to live fully in memory of their child. If only they knew what I’ve learned on how to live life after the loss of our child. Can I get a magic wand to make that pain go away?

The Pain is Unbearable

It hurts, I know. It seems as if there is no hope in sight. The days are long and the nights are longer. We don’t think we’ll make it. There’s no space in our mind for anything else except to grieve the loss of our loved one. There is only plenty of space to relive every second of our last moments with them and mourn every day of our lives.

There Truly Are No Words

We know people mean well, but we really don’t care to hear anyone’s advice or comforting words because there aren’t any that will help us understand why. This holds true especially when coming from people who have never experienced such a loss. And, believe it or not, a simple hug will do much more than words. We don’t want to think about anything else other than our deceased child so trying to divert our attention towards other things won’t help either. I know because I’ve been there.

What Were Their Dreams?

My only advice to those who are grieving the loss of their son/daughter is to try to live for them. If your child(ren) were of talking age, most likely you’ve had conversations with them. Try to recall those conversations. What did they like? What did they want to do and didn’t have the chance to? Where did they want to go? What were their dreams? So, once you’ve identified those things, try living for them. Do, in their memory, what they could not. Try fulfilling those dreams for them.

Keeping Their Memory Alive

If they loved horses spend time at a stable, volunteer at one or go horseback riding in your child(ren)s memory. Did they enjoy dancing? Then take dance lessons, teach dancing to another child or something to that effect. What was their favorite color? Paint a wall in your home in that color and make it a memorial wall for your child. There are so many things that to do in memory of our child(ren) which will keep us busy, give us a sense of accomplishment and believe me, make us feel happy once we reach our goal. Most important of all, our child(ren) will be so happy and proud of us even though they’re in heaven. And, there’s no better feeling than knowing that our child(ren) are happy.

We Shall Live

I wish I had a little magic wand to make my grieving friends whole again, but I don’t. That little magic wand is within each one of us. Only you can make it happen and believe me, it is possible and it does help us continue to live.

My heartfelt blessings to all. {{Hug}}


Diary of a Grieving Mother’s Heart

Diary Of A Grieving Mother’s Heart is a compilation of my grieving journals, rants, sadness, and joy. I’ve been through many different scenarios – both good and bad – which have helped me reach the place of peace that I now have. I invite you to explore my journey and I pray that, as it helped me, it will help you. You can find it on Amazon in paperback and in Kindle version too.


The Greatest Gift is Life – Learn to Live It

“For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Anger Is Everywhere

Why is there so much anger in this world? It’s like if people were angry at being given another day of life! Whatever happened to waking up and being thankful for another day of life? I see it every day on the road, on social media, while shopping, and I wonder what has happened to humanity?

Hostile Commuters

While commuting to work early in the morning I can see the anger in other commuters. Hostile drivers drive erratically and have no regard for their fellow drivers. People honk their horns on the milli-second of the traffic light change. They tail-gate the slower drivers even if these are doing the speed limit. Maybe they didn’t get a good night’s sleep.

No Good News

I don’t watch TV or listen to the news often, but when I do, there’s the anger splattered all over the media. Politics, homicides, missing people, accidents, etc. Why can’t the news talk about something nice for a change?

Following Social Media

Then when I log onto any of the social media platforms there it is again. The ones who berate others with their negative comments. Those who are annoyed by photos of happy couples, selfies, and family vacations. Others who judge the mourning or ill. Just this morning I was talking with my husband about this. And precisely today, when I logged onto Facebook, the first post I see was one about allowing others to express themselves. I enjoyed reading it therefore, I’m sharing it below.

Life Is Short

So, why not let people be? Stop with the hatred and negativity. Let’s spread love and positive energy. Maybe we should take a look at those who are thankful for their lives and learn from them. Life is short. We don’t know about tomorrow. So let’s be grateful for today. Appreciate what we have and live like if it were the last day of our lives because, in reality, we never know when we will be called home.

Facebook Post

To the pregnant women on social media posting constant updates and belly pictures — I love seeing how excited you are to become a Mom.

To the stay-at-home parents posting about cooking, baking and homemaking — I love seeing how you manage the hard work of being a provider for your family. 

To the person posting their whereabouts or new gadgets — thanks for showing how blessed you are. This will serve as a reminder for us to work hard and strive to achieve our goals.

To the people posting about your fitness and health — I love seeing your progress pictures, your healthy meals, your gym check ins…I especially love seeing your before and after pictures! You inspire me with your strength. 

To the women posting selfies — thanks for letting young girls know that it’s okay to love yourself and to feel beautiful! 

To the Mom posting a million pictures of your kids — it makes my heart so happy to see parents so proud of their babies! 

To the happy couple, constantly posting love posts — thank you for being a reminder to the next generation that all hope isn’t lost and happy marriages/steady relationships most definitely DO exist. 

To the business owners who constantly post about your work — keep going! Your will and passion for what you do is outstanding! 

Let’s stop being annoyed by everything and start lifting each other up! #

If you feel the world would be a better place if everyone would think this way feel free to Copy & Paste. 

Listening to the Sounds of Wind Chimes

I love wind chimes. I enjoy listening to their melodic sounds. They help me calm down and meditate. I can sit and listen to a wind chime for hours. I have nine wind chimes ranging between metal, wood, stone, and glass. They all sound so peaceful. You’d think one would go crazy listening to so many sounds at the same time. But no, that’s not the case. It really is enjoyable and just the perfect tone needed to feel relaxed – maybe too relaxed I’d say.

One of my many wind chimes

Wind chimes have been around for a very long time. There are a few legends surrounding them. Some believe wind chimes could get rid of bad energy such as in Feng Shui; others thought they attracted ghosts, and also forecast the weather. I don’t believe in any of these legends. I just know it gives my home a sense of tranquility which I and my visitors love. So you take your pick, what is your belief about wind chimes?

My favorite wind chime’s melodic sound

Always Look For The Positive in Bad Situations

My 2018 Reflection

The year 2018 is coming to an end. It is time for me to reflect on what I’ve done and accomplished. As I reflect on this year, I can either view it positively or negatively. Granted I didn’t get to travel but it was in my best interest not to.

Not A Great Beginning

You see, 2018 was a rough one for me. I began the year with two torn tendons on my left foot. Since this was an injury from 2017 which was not properly taken care of by the then podiatrist, I decided to begin the year with a second opinion. My first appointment was in early February 2018. The new podiatrist, suggested I get an MRI to compare with the one previously done by the prior podiatrist.

How It All Began

Let’s backtrack a little to understand where I’m coming from. In June 2017, I underwent a partial left knee replacement procedure. The surgery went perfectly well. I was feeling great, except for my left foot which was swollen. When I asked the surgeon about it he said that it was because of the surgery and I just needed to give it time. It made sense to me so I didn’t worry much about it. But, when my knee healed perfectly and my foot just got worst, I began to worry.

It Wasn’t Getting Better

One Sunday morning the pain was so unbearable, I had to visit the Urgent Care Clinic. At that point, I knew there was something more. The x-rays taken showed no broken bones, so the diagnosis was a sprained ankle. Beats me how I sprained my ankle when all I had been doing was resting my foot and cautiously walked with a walker and a cane. But okay, I accepted the diagnosis and began to treat it as such. However, it did not get better, it got worse.

Finally a Diagnosis

I decided to visit the same orthopedic group where I had the knee replacement surgery and have the podiatrist take a look at my foot. After more x-rays and no broken bones (of course), he ordered an MRI and gave me a steroid injection. I had the MRI done a week later and returned to the doctor’s office to discuss the results. The doctor confirmed that I had two torn tendons and placed me on a CAM boot for six weeks.

My first CAM Boot

No Hope or Relief

Once on the boot, I followed instructions to a tee. I was determined to return to my normal routine as soon as possible. So after six weeks on the boot, I was ordered eight weeks of physical therapy. The therapy was horrible and the pain excruciating. On my sixth week of physical therapy, I went for a follow-up. The doctor looked at my swollen foot and asked me, “How is it feeling?” I lifted my foot and while pointing to it replied, “As you can see it is still swollen and painful.” He got up from the chair and while walking towards the door, padded me on the shoulder and said, “Good, I’m happy with the progress. I’ll see you in three weeks.” And he left the room.

Sometimes We Need a Second Opinion

“Wait, what? Did I hear that correctly?” I thought. I was in shock so I put on my shoe and walked to the reception area to exit the premises. The receptionist asked me about the next appointment, and all I thought was, “Are you crazy? That nut didn’t even listen to what I said! Heck no!” But I only responded that I didn’t want to schedule it because I was going for a second opinion. That was the last time I visited their office. It was already December 2017 so I waited for the holidays to be over before scheduling an appointment with a different podiatrist.

Is There Any Hope For Me?

I finally visited the new podiatrist and as I stated above, before proceeding with anything, she wanted to know if the six weeks on a CAM boot and eight weeks of physical therapy improved the tendons in any way. In the meantime, I was back on a smaller CAM boot for six more weeks.

Me and my CAM Boot

The CAM Boot and I Are Becoming Close

I had the MRI done and unfortunately, the results were not good. The second MRI revealed that my foot was worse. According to the doctor, it was at a surgery stage. Tears rolled down my cheeks. I couldn’t believe all the time in a CAM boot and physical therapy was just wasted time. I asked her if there was anything else she could do, besides surgery. She said laser therapy might work but there’s no guarantee that it would. I didn’t want to go through another surgery so I opt to do the laser therapy. I was on my way to seven sessions in three weeks of laser therapy treatment. I followed all the instructions given to me by the doctor and even slept with a Night Splint on my foot. I missed many days of work or sometimes left work early whenever my foot swelled too much. I spent many days with my foot elevated high. I was becoming an expert on foot elevation. 😊

Night Splint

Worst Part of the Treatment

It was now April 2018, the laser therapy sessions were completed, however, the treatment seemed to work about 50%. There was still some inflammation and needed more time to completely heal. The doctor didn’t want to take any chances of further injury so she had a non-walking cast placed on my foot. It was very difficult for me to walk on crutches. Heck, it was difficult to do anything. My poor husband had to work around meeting my needs. I felt useless and so hopeless! After three weeks on a cast, I could no longer take it so I called the doctor and asked if we could do another round of laser therapy. If it worked about 50% of the way, maybe it’ll heal completely with another round. She agreed to remove the cast and the second round of laser therapy.

Temporary Brace

It Was Finally Looking Better

The doctor removed the cast in early May 2018. While I went through the laser therapy, I had to continue using the CAM boot. So here I was with the boot again for the next three weeks. It was beginning to grow on me. 😊 Frankly, I preferred the boot to the cast. After seven more rounds of laser therapy, it was finally over. The sonogram revealed there was just a little bit of inflammation. Leaning on the cautious side, the doctor ordered a pair of custom-made orthotics and custom-made brace. Meanwhile, I continued on a temporary brace until the custom-made brace and orthotics arrived.

Final Stages

It was now mid -June 2018 when the orthotics and brace arrived. I was to wear the brace for eight weeks before using the orthotics. I then graduated to alternating between orthotics one day and brace the next day for six weeks. Little by little, it began to heal. I am now using orthotics alone. In the event that I’d be walking on uneven terrain or for extensive periods of time, I need to wear the brace.

My 2018 Shoe Collection consisted of a tall heavy black CAM boot, a short light CAM boot, a temporary brace, a Night Splint, a custom-made brace, and custom-made orthotics. Hey, don’t criticize. I don’t know if I needed all this but the doctor needed to make money somehow since I opted for no surgery 🙂

I Am Healed!

Yes, I endured a lot of pain and difficult moments but I won’t say it was a bad year. Amidst all the pain and difficulties, I was able to do a few things I had been wanting to do for a very long time. I enjoy writing and had been putting together my diary notes from my journey through grief which I wanted to convert into a book. I also thought about starting a travel blog. But my busy schedule would not allow me the time to write. This was the opportunity I was looking for. I was finally able to complete and self-publish my book, Diary of a Grieving Mother’s Heart, and began my blog, Traveler Wows, which launched in March 2018, and travel agency, Traveler WOWs Agency! I also continued writing for this blog. Come to think about it, I did do a lot!

A Blessing in Disguise

So, I didn’t get to do fun things. Most of my year was spent sitting down with an elevated foot. But I’m not complaining, I am healthy, alive and happy. I didn’t get to travel and you see why it was in my best interest not to. But, I traveled within my imagination when I wrote about all the wonderful places and experiences I had through my previous trips. Therefore, I’ll say that 2018 was a great year for me and that 2019 will be even better and will allow me to travel again. My advice to you is to always look for the positive in bad situations. Sometimes it’s a blessing in disguise.

I wish you many blessing and hope you have a Happy New Year. May all your dreams come true in 2019!


Diary of a Grieving Mother’s Heart

Diary Of A Grieving Mother’s Heart is a compilation of my grieving journals, rants, sadness, and joy. I’ve been through many different scenarios – both good and bad – which have helped me reach the place of peace that I now have. I invite you to explore my journey and I pray that, as it helped me, it will help you. You can find it on Amazon in paperback and in Kindle version too.

The End of aN ACTIVE Society To A Technological One


Those Days are Long Gone

Times have changed a lot. I live in the suburbs in Florida. It’s a nice neighborhood where my own children grew up in the late ’90s and early 2000s. Back then, children played basketball outside, rode bikes, roller skated, and spent time with other neighborhood children. We are living the end of an active society to a technological one.

Where Are the Children?

Today is Christmas Day and as we walked out to visit my mother, we realized there was not one child playing outside – no roller skates, no bicycles, and no basketball hoops. Why aren’t there any children outside playing with their new toys? It’s not cold outside, nor hot. The weather is perfect at 73 degrees (22.77 Celsius), therefore, the weather is not to blame. So, where are they?

The Technological Trend is Here

I have a hunch am sure the children are home playing with their new gadgets. Yes, their new smartphones, tablets, laptops, desktop computers, and video games; which they received as gifts for Christmas. They are busy with their little fingers on the keyboards or joysticks of these expensive gifts which do not benefit anyone’s intellect. Technology, which seemed as if it were here to enrich our lives has actually crippled us.

Smartphones vs Dumb Brains

Technology has taken over our entire lives. We depend so much on all these gadgets that we have forgotten what it is to socialize and enjoy life and nature. Take for example last nights, Christmas Eve, party. The teenagers and some adults were glued to their smartphones as if their lives depended on it. Smartphones everywhere, which to me, do not make us any smarter, but dumber and lazier. Dumber because we no longer need to memorize phone numbers or correctly spell words; speed dial and spell check will take care of that. Lazier because we don’t need to walk, run, or do any physical movement – other than to twiddle our fingers – to use our gadgets.

Where Will We End Up?

So, what’s there for us and our children next? Will it ever get to the point where we yearn for the good old times of socializing and enjoying the outdoors? I guess not, especially for those who grew up in the technological era and experienced nothing on socializing and playing outdoors. Where will this technological trend take us to? We will never know. Yup, times certainly have changed.


{Debbie’s Reflection is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.}


Diary of A Grieving Mother’s Heart

Diary Of A Grieving Mother’s Heart is a compilation of my grieving journals, rants, sadness, and joy. I’ve been through many different scenarios – both good and bad – which have helped me reach the place of peace that I now am at. I invite you to explore my journey and I pray that, as it helped me, it will help you. Diary Of A Grieving Mother’s Heart is available on Amazon, paperback and in Kindle version.

I Shall Wait

Photography by Gratisography

Desperately Waiting

This wait causes desperation. It seems like as soon as you’re told you need to wait, the minutes go slower and time sits at a standstill. My mind begins to play unpleasant scenarios of what could be. Unfortunately, none of the scenarios are good. My sleeping patterns are altered and I began having nightmares of the unpleasant scenarios.

The next Day

The next day rolls in and what was supposed to be an 8-hour sleep seemed like an entire 24-hour day. With a new day rolling in and slowly creeping by it feels like it was a 48-hour day instead of 24. When will this day end?  It drags by so slowly. My anxious mind is reeling with all those unpleasant scenarios. I am sleep deprived, I feel unsettled, afraid, and nervous.

Photo by Raw Pixel

This too Shall Pass

Waiting brings out all my insecurities, fears, and negative thoughts. What if it’s bad? Why can’t I shift my thinking to a more positive note? It’s traumatizing and brings back unwanted memories. It makes it difficult to breathe. I can’t focus, I can’t think. I want to know now! What can I do to calm this anxious and desperate feeling of the wait? I’ll get through this. This too shall pass. Hopefully, it’ll pass soon enough. Just one more day. Let me get through just one more day before I know and the wait will end.


Diary of a Grieving Mother’s Heart

Diary Of A Grieving Mother’s Heart is a compilation of my grieving journals, rants, sadness, and joy. I’ve been through many different scenarios – both good and bad – which have helped me reach the place of peace that I now have. I invite you to explore my journey and I pray that, as it helped me, it will help you. You can find it on Amazon in paperback and in Kindle version too.

Getting Into the Christmas Spirit After the Loss of a Loved One

It is nice to see all the beautiful holiday decorations and how people are so jolly during the Christmas season. I try to do my best to hide my grieving emotions and to convince myself that someday, eventually, those emotions won’t come around. But, while speaking to a Mother, which I’ll call Emma, who lost her daughter in a car accident more than 20 years ago, I realized that is not the case.

Emma came into my office and commented on the photos and quotes on the frame with the clothesline I made. I told her that I try to do as much as I could in memory of my son. Including the Christmas tree which we put up every year as a gift to him.

I explained that we decorate Richie’s tree with 3×3 picture frames which hold photos of Richie throughout his life. I was able to place some of the photos inside clear glass ornaments too. And, every year when I travel abroad, I bring an ornament for Richie’s tree. 

She gasped in surprise and told me, “How did you do that?” “How were you able to get past that you had lost a son and put up a tree?” “It’s been more than 20 years for me and I haven’t been able to get back into the Christmas Spirit!” “I haven’t decorated or put up a trip since then!”

At this point, I was a bit taken aback and told her it was our way of giving Richie a Christmas gift from us – my children, husband and myself. But, I do understand where she’s coming from. Especially since her daughter, along with Emma’s father, died during the Christmas season. I don’t blame her. I  can honestly say that I am at a good place in my grieving process. And, I wish I could help others who grieve find that place of peace that I’ve been able to find. It wasn’t easy but I managed to get there and my sincere wish is that other grieving parents reach that place.

To all those who are grieving the loss of a loved one, many blessings to you and may you find that peace in your grieving process. Merry Christmas to all.

The true spirit of Christmas is love…

Diary Of A Grieving Mother’s Heart is a compilation of my grieving journals, rants, sadness, and joy. I’ve been through many different scenarios – both good and bad – which have helped me reach the place of peace that I now have. I invite you to explore my journey and I pray that, as it helped me, it will help you. You can find it on Amazon in paperback and in Kindle version too.

Diary of a Grieving Mother’s Heart