Category Archives: Random

Just random stuff

Is It Human Nature To Judge?

Photo by Jonas Mohamadi from Pexels

We Judge Without Knowing

We, humans, have a tendency to judge sometimes without even noticing it. Why do I say we? Because I have done it too. I don’t like judging people and never do intentionally. Let me explain myself.

Birthday Party Celebration

A week ago I was at a birthday party for a 16-year-old which I’ll call Ann. Among the visitors was Ann’s 6-year-old cousin, which I’ll call Becky. Becky is autistic. I don’t know what type of Autism she has. She does speak and is quite hyper. Her mom, which I’ll call Catherine, kept an eye on her daughter at all times. Believe me, she did not sit down to chit-chat with anyone.

Party Gone Wrong

Catherine was ready to leave so she gathered Ann’s belongings and said her good-byes, as well as Ann. Someone opened the door and Ann sprung out with her Catherine right behind her. As Catherine was approaching her opened vehicle she sees that Ann was not in the vehicle.

The Search Begins

Catherine looked around and didn’t see Ann. She shouted Ann’s name but there was no answer. Catherine returned to the house and asked if Ann had come back inside by any chance. We didn’t see her come back inside but searched the house. Where is Ann? All visitors still hanging out at the party sprang into action searching for Ann. Most walked a few gathered their vehicles and circled the neighborhood. The neighbors began looking once they knew that a 6-year-old autistic child was missing.

She Outran Everyone

Some people did spot her and Ann outran anybody that tried to catch her. She would not stop. A woman told us that at one point she blocked Ann’s path with her car. The woman placed her car in park and got out. Ann ran between two houses and evaded the woman. She could see Ann eyeing alternative routes. The police were on their way and they immediately released their K-9 dog to trace her down. They received calls of a little girl with Ann’s description running past by the Dollar Tree. Ann had run out of the subdivision and was quick to evade all those looking for her. There was even a drone searching the area which police had released.

The Search Is Over

Catherine managed to stay calm and answer the deputy’s questions. The deputy at the house with us received a call. The deputies found Ann. She was 2.3 miles away at a vacant lot where a new subdivision was being built. There were 8 deputies surrounding her who tried to coerce her to come to them with her favorite toy. She paced from side to side, like if getting ready to run at any given moment. Ann kept them on edge while they desperately tried to close in on her. Catherine’s presence was needed because they knew Ann would not allow them to get any closer.

The Mother-Daughter Reunion

Catherine was taken to Ann on a patrol car running through lights and intersections. Catherine was in shock and doubted that the child was indeed her Ann. She thought Ann could not possibly have run that far. When they finally arrived, Catherine was overwhelmed with joy when she saw her beautiful child. Catherine collapsed to the ground and called out to Ann. Ann ran to her mother and they embraced in a hug and had a little mother-daughter moment.

How Did Ann Do It?

It was such a relief to see Catherine walk in with Ann. How did this little girl appear 2.3 miles away from the house? We don’t know. Thank God she is safe. Yes, Ann is an autistic child and a very smart one too. The way she outran the woman who blocked her path and reroutes her way through; the way she manages to cross two busy streets and end up at a vacant lot where there was a new subdivision going up; and to keep 8 officers on edge trying to figure out where to cut through, takes a lot of analyzing from a 6-year-old.


What Does This Story Have to do With Judging?

Well, I’ve read about similar cases or heard them on the news and the first words out of our mouths are, “Where were the parents?” That’s the problem! We immediately judged the parents without knowing. In Ann’s case, I know for a fact that Catherine was there with her daughter. She walked out right behind her daughter. In a blink of an eye, Ann had dashed away from her mother’s sight and disappeared.

Moral of the story

Let’s agree to never judge anyone for any reason. We just don’t know what’s going on in their life.


Diary of a Grieving Mother’s Heart

Diary Of A Grieving Mother’s Heart is a compilation of my grieving journals, rants, sadness, and joy. I’ve been through many different scenarios – both good and bad – which have helped me reach the place of peace that I now have. I invite you to explore my journey and I pray that, as it helped me, it will help you. You can find it on Amazon in paperback and in Kindle version too.

Available on Amazon

Always Look For The Positive in Bad Situations

My 2018 Reflection

The year 2018 is coming to an end. It is time for me to reflect on what I’ve done and accomplished. As I reflect on this year, I can either view it positively or negatively. Granted I didn’t get to travel but it was in my best interest not to.

Not A Great Beginning

You see, 2018 was a rough one for me. I began the year with two torn tendons on my left foot. Since this was an injury from 2017 which was not properly taken care of by the then podiatrist, I decided to begin the year with a second opinion. My first appointment was in early February 2018. The new podiatrist, suggested I get an MRI to compare with the one previously done by the prior podiatrist.

How It All Began

Let’s backtrack a little to understand where I’m coming from. In June 2017, I underwent a partial left knee replacement procedure. The surgery went perfectly well. I was feeling great, except for my left foot which was swollen. When I asked the surgeon about it he said that it was because of the surgery and I just needed to give it time. It made sense to me so I didn’t worry much about it. But, when my knee healed perfectly and my foot just got worst, I began to worry.

It Wasn’t Getting Better

One Sunday morning the pain was so unbearable, I had to visit the Urgent Care Clinic. At that point, I knew there was something more. The x-rays taken showed no broken bones, so the diagnosis was a sprained ankle. Beats me how I sprained my ankle when all I had been doing was resting my foot and cautiously walked with a walker and a cane. But okay, I accepted the diagnosis and began to treat it as such. However, it did not get better, it got worse.

Finally a Diagnosis

I decided to visit the same orthopedic group where I had the knee replacement surgery and have the podiatrist take a look at my foot. After more x-rays and no broken bones (of course), he ordered an MRI and gave me a steroid injection. I had the MRI done a week later and returned to the doctor’s office to discuss the results. The doctor confirmed that I had two torn tendons and placed me on a CAM boot for six weeks.

My first CAM Boot

No Hope or Relief

Once on the boot, I followed instructions to a tee. I was determined to return to my normal routine as soon as possible. So after six weeks on the boot, I was ordered eight weeks of physical therapy. The therapy was horrible and the pain excruciating. On my sixth week of physical therapy, I went for a follow-up. The doctor looked at my swollen foot and asked me, “How is it feeling?” I lifted my foot and while pointing to it replied, “As you can see it is still swollen and painful.” He got up from the chair and while walking towards the door, padded me on the shoulder and said, “Good, I’m happy with the progress. I’ll see you in three weeks.” And he left the room.

Sometimes We Need a Second Opinion

“Wait, what? Did I hear that correctly?” I thought. I was in shock so I put on my shoe and walked to the reception area to exit the premises. The receptionist asked me about the next appointment, and all I thought was, “Are you crazy? That nut didn’t even listen to what I said! Heck no!” But I only responded that I didn’t want to schedule it because I was going for a second opinion. That was the last time I visited their office. It was already December 2017 so I waited for the holidays to be over before scheduling an appointment with a different podiatrist.

Is There Any Hope For Me?

I finally visited the new podiatrist and as I stated above, before proceeding with anything, she wanted to know if the six weeks on a CAM boot and eight weeks of physical therapy improved the tendons in any way. In the meantime, I was back on a smaller CAM boot for six more weeks.

Me and my CAM Boot

The CAM Boot and I Are Becoming Close

I had the MRI done and unfortunately, the results were not good. The second MRI revealed that my foot was worse. According to the doctor, it was at a surgery stage. Tears rolled down my cheeks. I couldn’t believe all the time in a CAM boot and physical therapy was just wasted time. I asked her if there was anything else she could do, besides surgery. She said laser therapy might work but there’s no guarantee that it would. I didn’t want to go through another surgery so I opt to do the laser therapy. I was on my way to seven sessions in three weeks of laser therapy treatment. I followed all the instructions given to me by the doctor and even slept with a Night Splint on my foot. I missed many days of work or sometimes left work early whenever my foot swelled too much. I spent many days with my foot elevated high. I was becoming an expert on foot elevation. 😊

Night Splint

Worst Part of the Treatment

It was now April 2018, the laser therapy sessions were completed, however, the treatment seemed to work about 50%. There was still some inflammation and needed more time to completely heal. The doctor didn’t want to take any chances of further injury so she had a non-walking cast placed on my foot. It was very difficult for me to walk on crutches. Heck, it was difficult to do anything. My poor husband had to work around meeting my needs. I felt useless and so hopeless! After three weeks on a cast, I could no longer take it so I called the doctor and asked if we could do another round of laser therapy. If it worked about 50% of the way, maybe it’ll heal completely with another round. She agreed to remove the cast and the second round of laser therapy.

Temporary Brace

It Was Finally Looking Better

The doctor removed the cast in early May 2018. While I went through the laser therapy, I had to continue using the CAM boot. So here I was with the boot again for the next three weeks. It was beginning to grow on me. 😊 Frankly, I preferred the boot to the cast. After seven more rounds of laser therapy, it was finally over. The sonogram revealed there was just a little bit of inflammation. Leaning on the cautious side, the doctor ordered a pair of custom-made orthotics and custom-made brace. Meanwhile, I continued on a temporary brace until the custom-made brace and orthotics arrived.

Final Stages

It was now mid -June 2018 when the orthotics and brace arrived. I was to wear the brace for eight weeks before using the orthotics. I then graduated to alternating between orthotics one day and brace the next day for six weeks. Little by little, it began to heal. I am now using orthotics alone. In the event that I’d be walking on uneven terrain or for extensive periods of time, I need to wear the brace.

My 2018 Shoe Collection consisted of a tall heavy black CAM boot, a short light CAM boot, a temporary brace, a Night Splint, a custom-made brace, and custom-made orthotics. Hey, don’t criticize. I don’t know if I needed all this but the doctor needed to make money somehow since I opted for no surgery 🙂

I Am Healed!

Yes, I endured a lot of pain and difficult moments but I won’t say it was a bad year. Amidst all the pain and difficulties, I was able to do a few things I had been wanting to do for a very long time. I enjoy writing and had been putting together my diary notes from my journey through grief which I wanted to convert into a book. I also thought about starting a travel blog. But my busy schedule would not allow me the time to write. This was the opportunity I was looking for. I was finally able to complete and self-publish my book, Diary of a Grieving Mother’s Heart, and began my blog, Traveler Wows, which launched in March 2018, and travel agency, Traveler WOWs Agency! I also continued writing for this blog. Come to think about it, I did do a lot!

A Blessing in Disguise

So, I didn’t get to do fun things. Most of my year was spent sitting down with an elevated foot. But I’m not complaining, I am healthy, alive and happy. I didn’t get to travel and you see why it was in my best interest not to. But, I traveled within my imagination when I wrote about all the wonderful places and experiences I had through my previous trips. Therefore, I’ll say that 2018 was a great year for me and that 2019 will be even better and will allow me to travel again. My advice to you is to always look for the positive in bad situations. Sometimes it’s a blessing in disguise.

I wish you many blessing and hope you have a Happy New Year. May all your dreams come true in 2019!


Diary of a Grieving Mother’s Heart

Diary Of A Grieving Mother’s Heart is a compilation of my grieving journals, rants, sadness, and joy. I’ve been through many different scenarios – both good and bad – which have helped me reach the place of peace that I now have. I invite you to explore my journey and I pray that, as it helped me, it will help you. You can find it on Amazon in paperback and in Kindle version too.

The End of aN ACTIVE Society To A Technological One


Those Days are Long Gone

Times have changed a lot. I live in the suburbs in Florida. It’s a nice neighborhood where my own children grew up in the late ’90s and early 2000s. Back then, children played basketball outside, rode bikes, roller skated, and spent time with other neighborhood children. We are living the end of an active society to a technological one.

Where Are the Children?

Today is Christmas Day and as we walked out to visit my mother, we realized there was not one child playing outside – no roller skates, no bicycles, and no basketball hoops. Why aren’t there any children outside playing with their new toys? It’s not cold outside, nor hot. The weather is perfect at 73 degrees (22.77 Celsius), therefore, the weather is not to blame. So, where are they?

The Technological Trend is Here

I have a hunch am sure the children are home playing with their new gadgets. Yes, their new smartphones, tablets, laptops, desktop computers, and video games; which they received as gifts for Christmas. They are busy with their little fingers on the keyboards or joysticks of these expensive gifts which do not benefit anyone’s intellect. Technology, which seemed as if it were here to enrich our lives has actually crippled us.

Smartphones vs Dumb Brains

Technology has taken over our entire lives. We depend so much on all these gadgets that we have forgotten what it is to socialize and enjoy life and nature. Take for example last nights, Christmas Eve, party. The teenagers and some adults were glued to their smartphones as if their lives depended on it. Smartphones everywhere, which to me, do not make us any smarter, but dumber and lazier. Dumber because we no longer need to memorize phone numbers or correctly spell words; speed dial and spell check will take care of that. Lazier because we don’t need to walk, run, or do any physical movement – other than to twiddle our fingers – to use our gadgets.

Where Will We End Up?

So, what’s there for us and our children next? Will it ever get to the point where we yearn for the good old times of socializing and enjoying the outdoors? I guess not, especially for those who grew up in the technological era and experienced nothing on socializing and playing outdoors. Where will this technological trend take us to? We will never know. Yup, times certainly have changed.


{Debbie’s Reflection is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.}


Diary of A Grieving Mother’s Heart

Diary Of A Grieving Mother’s Heart is a compilation of my grieving journals, rants, sadness, and joy. I’ve been through many different scenarios – both good and bad – which have helped me reach the place of peace that I now am at. I invite you to explore my journey and I pray that, as it helped me, it will help you. Diary Of A Grieving Mother’s Heart is available on Amazon, paperback and in Kindle version.

I Shall Wait

Photography by Gratisography

Desperately Waiting

This wait causes desperation. It seems like as soon as you’re told you need to wait, the minutes go slower and time sits at a standstill. My mind begins to play unpleasant scenarios of what could be. Unfortunately, none of the scenarios are good. My sleeping patterns are altered and I began having nightmares of the unpleasant scenarios.

The next Day

The next day rolls in and what was supposed to be an 8-hour sleep seemed like an entire 24-hour day. With a new day rolling in and slowly creeping by it feels like it was a 48-hour day instead of 24. When will this day end?  It drags by so slowly. My anxious mind is reeling with all those unpleasant scenarios. I am sleep deprived, I feel unsettled, afraid, and nervous.

Photo by Raw Pixel

This too Shall Pass

Waiting brings out all my insecurities, fears, and negative thoughts. What if it’s bad? Why can’t I shift my thinking to a more positive note? It’s traumatizing and brings back unwanted memories. It makes it difficult to breathe. I can’t focus, I can’t think. I want to know now! What can I do to calm this anxious and desperate feeling of the wait? I’ll get through this. This too shall pass. Hopefully, it’ll pass soon enough. Just one more day. Let me get through just one more day before I know and the wait will end.


Diary of a Grieving Mother’s Heart

Diary Of A Grieving Mother’s Heart is a compilation of my grieving journals, rants, sadness, and joy. I’ve been through many different scenarios – both good and bad – which have helped me reach the place of peace that I now have. I invite you to explore my journey and I pray that, as it helped me, it will help you. You can find it on Amazon in paperback and in Kindle version too.

Soul-Searching For The Meaning of Life

“The wise use of intelligence requires more than academic intelligence; we need soul-searching and deep reflection to live a more balanced and meaningful life.” ~  Dr. Paul TP Wong

Life, what is it? Besides breathing and living, what is it? Why are we here? What are we here for? All these questions popped into my mind just a few years ago when life began to change for us.

As a child, it never occurred to me to think about life. I’m sure, like many other children, I was anxious to grow up and be an adult never thinking about the responsibilities that come with it. Then, it happened. I became an adult with everything else that follows – love, children, college, work… is that it? Is that all life is about?

When I reached the “adult” age I didn’t have any of the above questions. I guess I was too busy being a wife, mother, and employee which left me drained enough to keep me from wondering what life is. Then everything changed. From running around every day dropping off children at school, work, pick up children, doctor’s appointments, children’s extra-curricular activities, church, homework, etc; to only go to work. Well, there’s still doctor’s appointments, church, and work but it’s not that running around as before like a headless chicken.  

So now what? Now that I have the time to sit and think about life I began to question it. With the questions arose curiosity. What is there beyond these oceans? What kind of life do other people around the world live? I only knew what I had seen on TV, read in a book or learned in school. All of a sudden I felt like if I were in the Jim Carey movie called The Truman Show. I always thought that I lived in the best place in the world and never doubted it. But, what makes us think such a thing? It was time for me to explore what life is all about so I began soul-searching.

Prayer and meditation were the basis for my soul-searching. I have always believed in God and in prayer. I prayed every day and still do. But, after I began meditating did I realize that, while I prayed every day, I really never sat down to listen to God. So when I meditated I began to silence my thoughts and only listen. That is when I finally awakened. I loved the comforting peaceful silence that goes along with the meditation which has opened up a whole new outlook on life and answered some of my questions.

I began by doing things I had not done before – nothing illegal or bad. I wanted to explore the world, go beyond the ocean walls. I wanted to learn about other countries, their people, culture, and traditions. I wanted to meet new people and connect with like-minded people. I realized that life is not only about living to work. But only if we stop overworking ourselves, complaining, fighting or worrying and think about life will we awaken enough to see all the beauty this world has to offer and we’re missing. There is so much to do in life, so much to see and discover and so little time.

So, if you’ve reached the stage in life where you’ve slowed down, take some time, not only to pray but to meditate and listen to God speak. You will realize that you were not put on this earth only to work, but to discover the beauty of Life.

How Many of You Dream While Taking a Nap and What Does It Mean?

It is not uncommon for me to take a nap when I’m home. It’s a boost of energy for me. Today was no exception. I was off from work and working on my blog when I felt sleepy so I laid down for my nap and fell into a deep sleep. I don’t ever recall dreaming when taking naps but today, I had a dream. The dream was nice but at the same time disturbing. I wasn’t planning on sharing it but since it hasn’t left my mind, I figured I’d share it. Maybe putting it out there will eliminate it from my mind. I don’t know much about dream interpretation but here it goes.

In this dream, I came across various family members and friends which I have not seen in a very long time. The first one was a friend I had more than 30 years ago. Debra was a special friend. We spent a lot of time together, went on day trips, parties and she would sometimes stay overnight at my house. The last time I saw Debbie was between 1990 and 1991. She was the same Debbie I last saw, with her beautiful huge smile, so sweet and impeccable manners. We hugged and talked for a little bit but I don’t recall what we talked about and then we parted ways.

Then I came across a cousin, well my mother’s cousin actually. Lydia was a loud woman but so nice. Her outgoing personality was still prevalent in the dream. She received me with a huge hug and kiss. We talked for a little then we parted ways. Again, I don’t recall what the conversation was about.

After Lydia, I came across my uncle Alex. Tío Tinito, as we lovingly called him, looked just the same as the last time I saw him. Young, healthy and handsome. He received me with open arms and greeted me with a hug. We chatted for a bit, said our goodbyes and went our separate ways.

Then my grandfather appeared. I did not recognize him at first since the last time I saw him I was very young – probably a teen but I’m not sure. He did look the same as what I remember. He approached me, gave me a hug and told me he was my grandfather. I do recall responding that I knew who he was. The conversation was short, but just like the above, I don’t know what it was about and he was gone.

The last person to approach me was the wife of my cousin, Ivette. She looked glorious – just her crazy loud self that we all loved. She came over to me hugged me with a loud “PRIMA” escaping her mouth. We talked for a bit and then she was on her way.

So, remember when I mentioned above that this dream was nice but disturbing at the same time? Well, it was nice seeing all these people again and having spent time with them. The disturbing part is that they are all dead. I’m not afraid of the dead, but dreaming with people that have moved on from this life, well, it’s not exactly fun. I don’t know how to interpret dreams, so if anyone of you knows, can you give me an insight into what this means? Or is it insignificant? I’m not worried but I am curious so your feedback is greatly appreciated.

 

Helping Other’s Feel Better While Healing

I might get some heat because of what I’m about to write, but you know what? If I can help someone else feel better while healing, then it’s worth it.

A little over a year ago, I underwent a partial knee replacement surgery. While the surgery was a success I was given a prescription for pain. I began taking the painkiller every 3-4 hours as instructed and they worked. But, when the doctor said he could not authorize me to drive until I was off them I knew I had to endure the pain somehow. That night, I decided I would not take the pill; but I could not sleep because of the pain. At that point, I considered taking it and that’s when I realized this is how people become addicted! I wasn’t about to go towards that route so I got up and took acetaminophen. It didn’t work but I continued it for a couple of days. I switched to ibuprofen and nope, that didn’t work either.

My son, seeing me in constant pain and little to no relief, brought me CBD Oil and explained the benefits to me. I was not thrilled nor convinced. In fact, it bothered me that he would think I was going to take such a thing. “Are you crazy? No! I’m not taking that!” But he was insistent that it would help me and I would not feel any highs or lows or whatever happens when drugs are consumed. With no remedy in sight other than returning to the addictive painkiller, and needing to get back to work, I reluctantly decided to try it. But first, I wanted to do research. According to what I read, CBD does NOT contain the tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) which is the ingredient that causes the “high” effect. CBD Oil is used to reduce pain and inflammation, among other things. I read article after article with most of them talking about the positive results and little to no side effects. After a couple of days researching and reading I decided to give it a try. Still, with skepticism, I took less than the dose recommended before I went to sleep. Low and behold it worked. It was the first night, after stopping the painkiller, in which I did not have to wake up every 3 hours to take another dose of acetaminophen or ibuprofen. The next day I was fine until around 10 a.m. – about 12 hours after taking the CBD Oil. At that time I took another dose of the CBD Oil. The second night I increased the dose to what was recommended. Thereafter, I only took one dose before going to sleep. I went from taking painkillers every 3 hours to taking CBD Oil once a day! Autosave-File vom d-lab2/3 der AgfaPhoto GmbH It was funny to hear the doctor ask me if I needed another prescription for painkillers and when I responded that I did not he asked, “Are you sure?” He was surprised to hear that I rarely took the painkiller but I never told him why. I was no longer in pain after about a month of my surgery, therefore, I stopped taking the CBD Oil.

But it didn’t stop there. Right after the surgery, I began to experience ankle pain on the same leg which was operated. At first, I blamed it on the surgery. I just had surgery on that leg so it was normal for my ankle swelling. It made sense, right?  Well, it turns out that it was not related. Unbeknownst to me of how it happened, I had two torn tendons. While taking the CBD Oil, I didn’t feel the pain but as soon as I stopped taking it the pain returned in my ankle area. I had to return to the doctor and was prescribed another painkiller, a CAM  boot for 6-weeks followed by physical therapy. I didn’t fill the painkiller prescription. I was so happy with the results of my knee after taking the CBD Oil that I preferred to take the oil instead.

 

As of today, I am completely healed. Other than my immediate family, I didn’t tell anyone what I was taking until one day I came across an old friend. We began talking and he told me his wife was having a real hard time with fibromyalgia. He said that most days she could not get out of bed and was suffering from severe pain. I debated whether to tell him or not but decided to give it a shot. I explained to him how it had helped me. He told me he would speak to his wife and asked for information on where to get it. About two months after that encounter I saw him again and the first thing he did was give me a hug and say, “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” I asked, “For what?” And then he explained that his wife began to take the oil. She was feeling better than what she’s felt ever since diagnosed with fibromyalgia and was back to work. I also shared the info with another person that I know is suffering from fibromyalgia as well. And I’m happy to report that she got back to me with great news.  She tried and it’s working. She told me she had not had a good night’s sleep, without pain, since before being diagnosed with fibromyalgia over 2 years ago until she tried the CBD. I am so happy for her.

Even though it was the CBD Oil that helped them both, not me, I still feel so happy for them and vowed that I’d share my experience to whomever I knew was suffering from an illness and needed a natural remedy. Granted, it is not something you can share with everybody. Not everyone has an open mind and may still consider it illegal. I’m a 55-year-old woman, and I can assure you, and anybody that knows me can also assure you, I am not a drug addict. I’ve never even smoked a cigarette! However, I will continue promoting CBD Oil because I am living proof that it does work and no one should live in pain!

Overwhelmed with Joy

courtesy of pexels.com

I finally released my book, Diary of a Grieving Mother’s Heart, on Amazon. I didn’t know what to expect and frankly, I was a bit worried of people’s reaction. I know that should not bother me. Part of putting myself out there is accepting all constructive criticism – good and bad.

This book is not a figment of my imagination. It entails all the love I have for my son, my fears, joys, sadness, faith, anger and method of survival to get to the place I’m at now. It wasn’t easy or fast and there were many ups and downs. But, just hearing and reading what my family, friends, coworkers, acquaintances and even strangers have said about my book have left me overwhelmed with so much joy.

I feel that I’m at a good place right now. Don’t get me wrong, I still do grieve my son. I miss him every day. But, I’m at a place of peace where I can talk about him with a smile and I can view photos of him and feel his love. My main goal for this book was to be able to reach as many grieving mom’s as possible. I want all grieving mom’s to know that the spirit never dies, and if there is any way that I can provide that glimpse of hope to a grieving mom, then I’ve accomplished my goal which makes me happy.

Blessings to all!

2017 A Good Year For Me

Looking back at 2017, I must admit that it has been a wonderful year for us. There were some ups and downs, but who doesn’t have those? It’s part of life. The year began with a very good tax season outcome that brought me new clients. That was a plus which I didn’t even prepare for, but it was good.

It was followed by an awesome trip to Amsterdam, Bruges and Paris in which I had the pleasure to be accompanied by my husband, our daughter, my mom and my friend. Yes, I did come back with pneumonia and asthma, but I saw it as an extra 2-week “vacation” to lounge around the house while recuperating and that was good.

A couple of months later we were able to “forcibly” upgrade our bathroom. Well, we found that the culprit of the asthma that I was having was caused by the mold in our bathroom, so it had to be taken care of. Since it was already gutted, why not go ahead and redo it, right? So, with the help of my sister’s design, D&R Designs, we redesigned our bathroom and that was good.

In June I underwent a partial left knee replacement surgery. My knee had been giving me problems for a while. It began either buckling or locking this year, so it was time to do something about it. I was finally going to have a stable knee. It would no longer control me, ha! I went into surgery on June 26. It was a successful knee recovery and that was good.

However, the same wasn’t happening for my left foot. It had been swollen since the surgery. I thought it made sense since I had knee surgery on the same leg. While my knee healed, my foot continued to swell and was painful to the point where I ended up in the emergency care where x-rays were taken. The doctor said I had sprained my ankle. How? I had no clue. I was given certain instructions and an ankle brace to use for about two weeks. Two weeks went by and it just got worst.  I went back to the orthopedic group to have my ankle checked. The doctor claimed to have seen cases like mine after knee surgery. I always sensed it had to do with my knee surgery but I’m not a doctor. More x-rays were taken, and I was given a steroid shot. He told me to use compression socks, elevate my foot and ice it and he’ll see me in two weeks. It didn’t get better, it worsened. I was sent for an MRI and finally, had an answer.  I had two torn tendons on either side of my foot. I had to use a boot for six weeks and with caution because it could affect my recently operated knee. I wore my boot diligently and followed all his instructions. I even added kinesis therapy and used the kinesis tape. Six weeks went by and I began going to physical therapy. As hard and painful as it was I stuck to it until I completed all my eight sessions. I was willing to do this because I had another trip coming up in November and I wanted to be fully recovered. Therefore, I continued physical therapy at home on my own. I was finally discharged from all doctors and physical therapy and that is good.

In September I began a blog, Debbie’s Reflection. You can subscribe at  www.debbiesreflection.com. I write about my trips, grief journey, spirituality and restaurants. It’s still in its beginning stages and not fully exposed but I’ll get there. The comments received thus far have been positive and inspire me to continue blogging.

In November my husband and I took a wonderful trip to Italy (Rome, Venice and Pompeii) with the awesome company of my daughter, son and son-in-law. It was a great trip – so much fun, so much laughter. It coincided with our 33rd wedding anniversary, so we contacted the priest at Basilica San Marcos to see if we could renew our vows on November 22. I really didn’t expect anyone to respond to my email and was surprised to receive an email from Monsignor Giuseppe Camiloto letting us know that he would do it on that day at 11:30 a.m. after the service, so we did it and it was good.

Arriving in Rome and after a bit of walking, I realized that I would not be able to walk too much because my foot was still in recuperating mode. We ended up renting a vehicle to get around – not that we needed it. We were well centered in the heart of Rome with walking distance to all the major sites, but my foot couldn’t handle it and that’s okay because I didn’t want to put too much strain on it and injure it again. Even with my foot acting up I had the best time ever in Italy – best trip so far and that was good.

The year went by fast and the Christmas season was already here. Our Christmas Eve party was a wonderful one – the food, the company, the games – a great night! Today is December 31, 2017, the last day of the year. For me, it was a very good year with all the good things and the bad things. But I take those bad things as blessings that have opened up a door to improving some part of my life.

I want to take this opportunity to thank my friends for their moral support with your comments on Facebook and on my blog. Thanks to my co-workers for keeping our work environment a fun and exciting one. Thank you to my immediate family (Mom and siblings) for times spent together. Thanks to my daughter and son for being the loving, supporting children that they are. Thanks to my son-in-law for loving my daughter and being the great person, he is to us.  Special thanks to my husband for taking care of me when I was sick and disabled, for loving me unconditionally and for being there for me 100%. Most important of all, thank you Lord for all the blessings you have bestowed upon me, for always keeping me in a positive attitude, for lifting me up when my grief emotions begin to surface,  and for your love. Without you I would not have had such a wonderful year.

Yes indeed, 2017 was a good year and I know that 2018 will be better. My advice for all is to never let go of your dreams, believe in yourself, have faith, look for the positive in all the negative and have a blessed 2018. May all your dreams come true. HAPPY NEW YEAR 2018 EVERYONE!

Bullying Among Adults

 

 

 

 

 

I often hear about children being bullied in school by their classmates and sometimes among siblings. I never heard about bullying among adults in the workplace. I once experienced a bullying situation among adults – more specifically – elders!  I did the bookkeeping for an elderly community some time ago. I’ll call the bullied elder, Jane. Jane was a volunteer at the elderly community. Jane was a sweet, compassionate lady in her 80’s, about 5’ tall, porcelain white skin, beautiful blue eyes and a smile that brightened the office every time she walked in.  Jane came in on a weekly basis to help the office manager (the bully which I’ll call OM) with her daily chores. OM was sometimes a sweet elder in her mid 80’s, but most of the time a scornful, perfectionist who was always looking at other’s flaws but never found any within herself.

One day, when I arrived OM was in the office with her abhorrent self.  I did not allow OM’s negative attitude to disturb my day.  Most of the time I brushed off her comments.  Every time a community elder approached the customer service window OM received them with a scornful face.  Most would look at me but all I could offer them was an apologetic smile.  Many had mentioned to me how rude and obnoxious OM was.  Other than let the board know, there was nothing I could really do.  OM treated the elders as if they were a plague and had no sympathy for anyone.  She seemed to intimidate them and no one dared to stand up for their rights.  I didn’t personally know the elders in the community but it did bother me to see OM’s treatment towards them.

However, none was as hurtful to me as the treatment towards sweet Jane.  Jane arrived at about 10:00 a.m. with her glowing smile and warm greeting.  I’m not quite sure what the issue was but OM apparently was waiting for Jane to arrive to discuss a recent “issue” of wrong doing by Jane.  Apparently, Jane mistakenly gave out wrong information and OM jumped at the opportunity to reprimand Jane.  Remember, Jane is a volunteer helping OM.  OM’s voice did not conceal the anger and frustration that she held inside because of Jane’s mistake.  Jane giggled a bit.  I could tell that her giggles were from nervousness.  Jane apologized and vowed to ask OM next time before offering any information.  But OM’s emphasis to make a point did not hear the apology or preferred not to accept the apology because she continued to accost Jane until no one else’s voice, other than hers, was heard.  No more than an hour after the first rant came the next one and all because Jane stapled the documents in the wrong spot.  OM was adamant that the documents be stapled on the top right side of the documents and the staple needed to be straight.  Jane stapled the documents on the left.  Frankly, I don’t know why Jane continued to volunteer her time to help OM.  I took the opportunity to talk to Jane and let her know that she didn’t have to tolerate such belligerent behavior from OM and encouraged her to speak up or just stop volunteering her time.  I mentioned to Jane that OM’s behavior, for me, is sort of an adult version of bullying.  I asked her if she wanted me to speak to OM about it.  Jane was so sweet that all she did was hug me and said she would be fine.

To make the story short, in the 2 ½ hours I spent there, OM tormented Jane 5 times for petty things.  Even though I tried not to let OM get to me I was already a bit upset at the attitude towards Jane.  Oh, don’t get me wrong, OM was as rude to me as she was with everyone else.  I just chose not to let it bother me – until that particular day.  Om’s constant badgering at us took a toll on me and I stooped to my lowest level.  She was surprised at my reaction and asked me why I was giving her an attitude.  I replied that I was giving her the same attitude that she had with everyone during that morning.  I let her know that she would benefit from some meditation and told her that there really was no reason for her to be so stressed out at work.  After all, it’s not like if it were a Fortune 500 company losing millions of dollars.  She just looked at me and did not reply.  I had not anticipated losing it but I did.  I then left the premises.

What compels an adult person to be so obnoxious?  It’s not an age thing.  I’ve had the privilege (and continue to) spend a lot of time among elders and more than 98% of them are as sweet as can be – at least with me they are.  I really wish that OM would take my advice and find a place that offers meditation so that she can find that sweet person within herself.  It’s no wonder her daughter’s live up north.  I pray OM to find peace and happiness in her life.  Lord knows she needs it.