Take Control of Your Happiness – Positive Thoughts Can Manifest Your Dreams Into Reality In No Time

“You have the ability to quickly change your patterns of thought, and eventually your life experience.” ~ Abraham Hicks

Manifesting what you want in life is not only talking positive things. It’s a bit more complicated than that but not impossible. The trick is to reprogram your subconscious mind. For instance, have you ever had a decision to make and hesitantly made up your mind as to what to do, but deep down inside you’re still questioning it? Well, that’s your subconscious mind at work.

There are ways to reprogram your subconscious mind. I used a YouTube guided meditation from Power Thoughts Meditation Club’s Subconscious Mind Reprogramming – Activate Your Higher Mind. It didn’t happen overnight. But it didn’t take too long either. I think it has to do with our eagerness to get there. I listened to the video many times over for about a year. And I still do listen to it every once in a while.

Although just listening to it won’t help you manifest what you want. You also have to learn to speak and think in a positive way. The law of attraction does not understand negative words or phrases.

So, if you’re asking for a job closer to your home you should not say, “I want a job which is not so far.” You need to rephrase your request. You can say, “I want a job close to my home.”

Trust me it really works because this happened to me. I manifested a job where I DID NOT have to drive far. Big mistake, I was offered a great opportunity, but the drive was an hour away. I did accept it, but two years driving an hour back and forth took its toll on me. So I manifested again carefully choosing my words and BAM, it worked!

I was once explaining this to a young couple in the presence of an elderly lady very dear to me that I’ll call Jane. As I spoke to the young couple, Jane chimed in saying, “That’s not true. All my life I’ve said that I did not want to take care of children when I got older and look at me. I’m almost 75 and still taking care of children.”

For me, that was a great example. I turned to Jane and responded, “You got what you asked for – taking care of children. The law of attraction does not understand negative words such as: no, don’t, or can’t. In other words, don’t manifest what you don’t want. Just ask for what you DO want and be specific.

Also, being grateful for what we have will attract more things to be grateful for. Giving thanks for all our blessings is a sure way to start. Every one has a blessing in their lives. I believe there are just too many negative beings concentrating on what’s going wrong in their lives instead of focusing their attention on what is going right. Let’s switch it up a bit. Every day look for one thing which you’ve been blessed with – be it health, family, career – anything and build it up day by day. Just by being able to open our eyes when we wake up is a blessing so start with that.

Each morning when I wake up and before I set my feet on the floor, I give thanks for the new day. I also proclaim that the new day will be a great one. Little by little, I have reprogrammed my brain to think positive thoughts. I don’t allow negative energy to disturb my inner peace.


You’re probably saying it’s much easier said than done or that I probably never had a bad experience. Well, you’re wrong. I am a grieving mother. My son passed away at the age of 20 so I have had tragedy struck my life. After the initial shock, many crying bouts and intensive grief therapy, I decided to choose which path to take. I could walk down the path of depression or I could do for my son what he could not. I chose the latter.

If I was able to reach the place of peace I am in now, I believe anyone can because l don’t think there is any pain worse than that of losing a son/daughter. It doesn’t take away from the fact that I still miss him every day, but I realized I won’t bring him back. Therefore, I live for him and cherish the memories I have. And I find that I am much happier. So go ahead and give it a try. It costs nothing but you can gain a lot from it.

Old Relic In Dad's Back Yard

During our last visit to Puerto Rico, we spent some time with my dad and his wife. While we were at their home, I came across a stationary bike in their backyard terrace. It’s green, old, rusty and ugly. I had never seen one like it before and am not sure if it was painted or if that green is its original color.


Gabriel & Co. fine jewelry

My daughter tried the bike and it works just fine, though my dad and his wife don’t use it. They don’t recall how old it is and don’t want to get rid of it either. I doubt it is worth anything. It’s sitting out in the rain and sun all day and all night. But I have to say, that it is in good condition being where it’s at with no cover or care.

Old relic still alive

I just found it fascinating to see such an old relic still alive. I wish I knew what brand and year it was. Old folks have so much history in their homes. It’s interesting to see what we will see at our folks’ homes. Can you share any old relics with me?


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I Won the Lottery!

“The smarter you play, the luckier you’ll be.” ~ Mark Pilarski

Photo by Tirachard Kumtanom from Pexels

I Won the Lottery! I was stunned, surprised and in shock. I never thought, in a million years, that I’d be so fortunate. It happened when I least expected it. I wasn’t anticipating any winnings, so it caught me by surprise.

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I looked at the two tickets on top of my dresser. My husband had bought them for me. They had been there for a while now. Today, I finally decided to check them. I grabbed the two tickets, a coin, and made my way to the dining room. I sat in one of the breakfast nook chairs with my tickets and coin. With lots of patience, I began to scratch.

I didn’t even look at the numbers that were uncovered. I just scratched away. I cleared the entire ticket leaving no spot without scratching. I then made my way to grab a paper towel and clean the mess I made with the scratch-offs. After I cleared the mess, I picked up the scratch-off and began looking at the numbers one-by-one. I saw the combination of winning numbers but did not immediately notice it. As I repeated the numbers in my head, I suddenly realized what had happened. I WON THE LOTTERY!


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What joy, what happiness I felt. I was ecstatic and felt an adrenaline rush. Oh boy was I happy! I needed to calm down, collect my thoughts and tell my family. I managed to contain my emotions and think of my next steps. When I finally got it all under control, I knew what my next move should be. Feeling more relaxed and breathing normally now, I just need to figure out where I will cash my $1 dollar winning.

Hahaha, got you there, didn’t I?

The Effects of Practicing Yoga and Meditation in Your Back Yard

I love being outdoors with nature – listening to the birds sing, the sweet aroma of grass and flowers, the sight of beautiful flowers blooming and luscious landscape. My yard is no exception. Plus add to the above the flowing waters of my outdoor fountain and the soft melody of my windchimes. It’s the perfect setting for meditation.

My Sanctuary

Meditation outdoors is not new to me. Every now and then I sit outside for as much as an hour of meditation. But I’ve never practiced yoga outside. The Florida weather doesn’t entice me to.

I have read that practicing yoga outdoors is more beneficial than in a studio. Practicing yoga outside can boost your energy, heightened your awareness, build confidence and boost meditation benefits. [See Yoga Journal]

My Sanctuary

As I stepped outside early this evening, I found it to be the perfect setting for a yoga session. The weather was just great – no clouds, no rain insight, and the sun was setting. So I took advantage of the opportunity Mother Nature had given me.

Photo by Oluremi Adebayo from Pexels
Photo by Min An from Pexels

I brought my yoga mat outside and engaged in a wonderful, soothing, spiritual yoga practice, as well as a little meditation. The soft light of the sun setting, the trickling water of the fountain and cool breeze made it all the more relaxing. I felt refreshed, calm and peaceful.

Yes, I love nature and little by little I’m building my own little sanctuary where I can sit to meditate and practice yoga to my heart’s content. I’m very grateful for these beautiful moments. Thank you, Lord.


Sadness Creeps In For No Reason At All

“Some days are just bad days, that’s all. You have to experience sadness to know happiness, and I remind myself that not every day is going to be a good day. That’s jus the way it is.” ~ Sad Quotes

Every day, I wake up giving thanks for another day of life, a restful night, my loving family, and all that I have. I follow up by posting a daily affirmation on Facebook. I could mean something to someone when they log on. But today, I felt sad. I’ve had this sad feeling all day long. Why? I don’t know. Thankfully, there’s nothing specific that could have caused this sadness I feel. It’s just there.

It’s happened before. Especially when it’s a special occasion or a holiday. The feeling of not having my son causes these emotions. But there’s nothing going on that would merit an emotion of sadness and I don’t know how to shake it off.

I went about my day at work and even took some time to get my hair nicely done and spend some time with my friend. But the sadness is still there. I received some good news from my son, but the sadness is still there. I’ve thought about all the great moments in my life, but the sadness is still there. I sat outside and meditated, as well as, prayed to the Lord; but the sadness still prevailed. I began to think about my upcoming vacation and how amazing it’ll be, but the sadness still invades my every thought. I smudged my home with Tibetan sage, which smells amazing, but the sadness is still lingering.

So, what do I do next? How do I let go of sadness that I don’t even know why it’s there? Should I cry it out? But why? I don’t even know why I’m sad. I guess, like many other things, this too shall pass. Hopefully, it’ll happen soon.

Have you ever experienced a sadness you were not able to shake off easily? If so, what did you do?

Falling In the Trap of Deceit

Time will inevitably uncover dishonesty and lies, history has no place for them.” ~ Norodom Sihanouk

The new trend being used to write reviews for certain products is deceiving. I rely on reviews a lot to make my purchases. But after my latest experience, I don’t know who and what to trust anymore.

In May 2019, I noticed that my hair was thinning and falling out more than usual. I opted to purchase a shampoo and conditioner to prevent hair thinning. It had great reviews – over 200 of them so I decided to go with it. It’s a little pricey at $24.99 a bottle each, but I purchased it anyway.

When I received the product, it had a sticker on it with instructions on how to get it for free! Woohoo, who doesn’t like free stuff right? So, I jumped at the opportunity to get a free bottle of shampoo and hair conditioner. The instructions were simple, go to the website on the sticker, enter your name, address, email and order number from Amazon; write a positive review, take a snapshot of your review and submit it to the company. So, I fell for it and followed their instructions after about a week of using the product.

Don’t get me wrong, the product smells amazing. I love the aroma of lavender. During the first week, I didn’t see much of a difference other than it left my hair stringy – not soft like other shampoos. Also, the conditioner seems more like a hand cream than a conditioner. But I thought I’d give it a chance. After all, it was only a week. Maybe I should give it more time.

A month went by and I saw no progress. On the contrary, after I washed my hair and began untangling it, I saw more hair on the bathroom counter than before. I thought, “maybe my thyroid is out of wack and acting up. So, I went to the doctor which sent me to get lab work done. The results came back normal so it’s not my thyroid. I felt perfectly fine and I’ve been eating very healthy lately, so what could it be? The only different thing I’ve been doing is using the new shampoo and hair conditioner. So, I took a break from it.

I still had some hair loss, but it wasn’t as severe as when I was using the special shampoo for hair thinning. But I still have the shampoo and conditioner that I bought and it was pricey, plus the free ones for writing a positive review, so I gave it another try. I don’t feel it is preventing my hair from falling out. So now I’m in search of something that will really help.

My point is, I relied on those reviews. I’m sure, just as I fell for it, many may have as well. But it won’t happen again. I’ve seen the same offer on other products I’ve bought. Now, I hold on to the special offer sticker and if the product is worthy of a good review, then I’ll go for it. If I didn’t like the product or didn’t feel it worked, I have forgone the offer. And if the “limited time” to submit the review passed, oh well. I apologize to all for writing a positive review of a product that doesn’t deserve it because many of us rely on these reviews to make our purchases. It’s unfortunate that we opt to deceive others just to receive a free product. Shame on me and others!

For the record: My announcement above on the SholdIt is genuine. I love, love, love that scarf!

The Feelings Behind Twelve Years of Grief

2004 vacation – Puerto Rico

Will It Ever Go Away?

This month brings me a lot of emotions. On Tuesday, July 9, is the angelversary of my son’s death. It’ll be 12 years now. It hurts the same as the day of. I can think about all the joyous times we spent together. My mind is well-aware of what happened and accepts it. My heart does not understand. How can I repair this broken heart from the loss of my son? I don’t believe there is any way to repair it. I’m at a good place with my grief now. But, every birthday, holiday and this month, in particular, will always trigger these feelings. I don’t have to think about it. It’s only natural. It’s called love.

Can’t Help the Feeling

A person who grieves the loss of a loved one does not plan on riding the rollercoaster of emotions. It just happens. The feeling isn’t welcomed. It just shows up. We do not entertain them either, they just linger there. We don’t relive the tragedy. It just seems like the events of that day/night will haunt us forever. This feeling just grabs ahold of a person like it or not. No two griefs are the same and none compares to the loss of a son/daughter – the worst grief you can experience.

Even after 12 years, I keep the feelings between my husband and myself. I know he understands, he goes through it too. I asked my daughter how it affects her. She responded that she tries not to think about it and keep herself busy. I too, keep myself busy. That’s why I write. It makes me feel better to jot it down. It helps me release the tightness in my chest and lifts up the tension on my shoulders.

It’ll Be a Good Day

Yes, July 9 will be a difficult day for me. I am doing my part to make it a good day. Will I go to work that day? Maybe. I’ll keep a positive attitude and hope for a good day. And, as I’ve done these past 12 years, I will continue to do for him what he could not.

My advice to the rest of the world is to hold your loved ones tight and let them know how much you love them. Let go of the petty things and embrace each other. Life is short and not worth clinging on to the resentment. Don’t waste precious time in meaningless things. Blessings to all.


A Tribute to My Son

Words in poem below

The Great Eternal Silence

By Aquinas T. Duffy

Missing in the darkness, vanished without a trace.
With only the memories and photographs to fill an empty place.

Frequent prayers and fervent cries. Is there anyone there?
But the only sound was the silent, eternal fanfare.

For a long time, it’s a deafening sound,
subdued by a path through lost and found.

Laughter and sorrow, anguish and grief;
all the moments of life but with no relief.

Everything and nothing, one within between all;
gentle, loving, penetrating the eternal silence falls…


Why Is It So Hard to Call Your Parents?

Is the expression, “the phone works both ways,” valid when it comes to our elderly parents? Is it justified to not call the person who raised you and cared for you because they don’t call you? Or is it just ignorance from some?

I recently attended a party and the conversation came up by one of the attendees (John) about his father. John was talking about his elderly father. His father recently called and during their conversation mentioned that John never calls him. He told his father that the phone worked both ways.

I’ve known John for many years now. I am aware that his father does not live locally and is in his late 70’s. I also know that John was raised by his mother and father. I never heard of any negligence or bad childhood experiences. John’s father worked two jobs all his life to sustain his family. So I believe he must have been a good provider. Therefore, I was shocked to hear those words from John.

I immediately reminded John that his dad was close to his 80’s. I told him to understand that all his dad wants is to hear from his son. John was adamant that his dad should initiate the call. And, not expect John to call first. I told John to think of it in a different way. “Put yourself in his shoes. How would you feel if your kids didn’t call or visit you.” His response was, “I don’t have kids.”

It made me sad. Not that John didn’t have kids, but his reaction to his father’s phone call. There are so many children that don’t have a father figure in their lives. So many children are longing for that fatherly figure to talk to, interact with and follow their steps. It made me sad to know that there are parents that gave their all to support their family and are forgotten as soon as the children become adults. It is very sad.

Photo by Emma Bauso

My dad is almost 80 and lives over 1000 miles away. I do not see him often. In fact, last time I saw my dad was about 3 years ago. But I speak with my dad on the phone at least once a month if not more. I do not mind calling him. I enjoy hearing his stories. I get many gardening tips from him. We talk for almost an hour on average and I make sure to let him know that I love him.

So tell me, am I being too sensitive, ridiculous or old-fashioned? Or am I right to feel that our elderly parents deserve to hear and have frequent visits from us? I understand that not everyone had a good experience with their parents. But, regarding those that did, what’s your take on this subject?


Diary of a Grieving Mother’s Heart

Diary Of A Grieving Mother’s Heart is a compilation of my grieving journals, rants, sadness, and joy. I’ve been through many different scenarios – both good and bad – which have helped me reach the place of peace that I now have. My intention in writing this book is to help other grieving parents reach the place of peace that I have. If I can help at least one parent, then I am happy.

I invite you to explore my journey and I pray that, as it helped me, it will help you. You can find it on Amazon in paperback and in Kindle version too.

Not Just An Ordinary Day

La Pieta by Michelangelo

This image is the sculpture of La Pieta in the Vatican sculpted by Michelangelo. It shows the Virgin Mary holding the dead body of Christ after his crucifixion, death, and removal from the cross, but before he was placed in the tomb. It is behind a plexiglass to avoid damage to the sculpture, hence the glass union line from top to bottom. I chose this image because I can relate to the pain Mary felt with the death of her son.


July 9 is just another day, not a holiday nor a recognized day of some kind, but just another ordinary day. That is for others but not for me. July 9 marks the “angelversary” of my son’s death, it’ll be 12 years. Time sure does go by fast. But, unlike the saying, “Time heals everything,” guess what? It doesn’t. There are things that cannot heal, and the loss of a son/daughter is one of them. At least for me. I just learned to live with it.

It is not that I dwell day and night on the fact that my son died. Nor do I live anticipating for this day to come, or his birthday. It’s something more and it’s uncontrollable. It’s the love we, as Moms, so strongly feel towards our children. Simple things can trigger the emotional rollercoaster, some so simple as looking at a calendar.

One day I was updating my calendar with future tasks reminders when it struck me. Right there in front of me was “July 9,” which caught me by surprise. It was there, glaring at me, tearing me apart. It felt like a dagger straight between my ribs and into my heart. All the memories of that night flashed through my mind and the tears started to build. What were just mere seconds of staring at the date on the calendar felt like hours. Our last conversation, our last hug, and the last “I love you” swept through my mind.

The smile that I had before seeing the date just melted away. I felt the sadness building up. But I didn’t speak to anyone about it – not even my husband as I usually do when I feel the sadness creeping over me. I just turned towards my son’s photo and whispered “I love and miss you” and continued to work. The more I tried to concentrate on my work, the more the thought of my son crept into my mind. I could see his beautiful face just smiling at me. It was as if he were telling me, “Mom, it’s okay. I’m fine.” And I know he is okay but, try to explain it to my heart which doesn’t understand it. My heart only knows that there’s a permanent hole which cannot be healed.

Grieving Mother Free Loving Memory Cards to Share

I don’t think there is a grieving mom who can say that she has healed after the loss of her child. Oh, I’ve had a person tell me that I will heal because based on her experience, after losing the love of her life through a divorce, she has fully recovered. Yes, she compared her divorce to the loss of my child. I wish it were that easy, but it’s not. She was able to rebuild her life with a new husband, but grieving parents cannot replace a son/daughter and that love does not subside. It’s impossible for it to disappear because each child is loved unconditionally. Grieving parents may or can have other children, but each child is their own person. Therefore, no one child can replace another. There’s nothing – absolutely nothing – in this world that can replace the loss of a child.

I know I will continue to grieve for the rest of my life and it’s because of the immense love I feel for my son. That’s okay to feel the way I do. I feel that my grief makes me work through the everyday battles we come across. It makes me stronger because, my thought is, if I am going through life without my son, I can get through anything. For me, there has been no worst pain. And I know that every time I feel that grief, it is a sign of what a loving mother I was to my child and still am to my other two children. This strength I owe to the Lord and am grateful to Him every day.


So, will I work on July 9? I don’t know. It all depends on what my heart is feeling that day. I will prepare to stay home and celebrate his life with my family – maybe cook his favorite meal and remember all the great times we had together. Yes, July 9 is an ordinary day for everyone else but not for me. It is a commemorative day which will stay with me for the rest of my life, and I thank the Lord for not abandoning me in these moments.

To my son in heaven, “I will never stop loving you or forget you. May you rest in peace.” ~ Love Mom


Diary Of A Grieving Mother’s Heart 
by Debbie Centeno

Throughout these past years, I wrote about my journey through grief. My ups and downs, rants, joys, struggles and what I did to reach the peace I now feel. Diary Of A Grieving Mother’s Heart can be found on Amazon in both, paperback and Kindle version.

A Mother’s Day Reflection

128de10c7c7d37db502f7cfa400fea67--angels-in-heaven-i-miss-you

Mother’s Day is this Sunday. I don’t have to look at a calendar to know that the feelings I’ve been having these past few days are a product of grief. I look at my beautiful daughter and as I listen to her speak I can’t help but feel so proud of the beautiful young lady we’ve raised.  A smart young lady who graduated from college and is on her way to a successful life. She is loving, sweet, funny, determined and gorgeous. I thank God for giving me the daughter I always wanted.

Then I look at my youngest son, the one who gave me such a headache growing up. The one who got a detention 3 out of 5 days of every week in school. The one who some teachers said wouldn’t amount to anything but is now a successful young man who rose to a management position in less than two years after graduating from college. And I feel so proud of him, of his wisdom and charisma. He is still hyper but super funny, sweet and a handsome young man. Every day, I thank God for giving me such a wonderful son.

I can’t help but think about my oldest son, Richie. Thinking about him daily has become part of my life. I miss talking to him and listening to his quirky conversations. I wish I could hug him just like I hug my daughter and younger son. And when we go out as a family, I miss having Richie sit among us. Many times, I wonder if he would have gotten married, had children and completed college.

Many times, I wonder what it would’ve been like if he were alive. Richie was a good young man, so I don’t doubt he would’ve continued the right path. Sometimes, I just imagine what it would’ve been like. I don’t know if this feeling is normal. I’m not sure that any other grieving Moms imagine or experience the same. I think about all the good times, the bad, the happy and the sad. I think about our conversations, his silliness, his childhood and all the little things about him that never left my mind and never will. It’s a mixture of happy and sad feelings and sometimes happy and sad tears. I miss him so much and will always.

Every Mother’s Day, birthday, angelversary, and holiday will be a reminder that he is no longer with me regardless of how long ago he died. It is important for everyone to know that death doesn’t mean out of sight, out of mind. When we give birth to a child we send out birth announcement cards. When the child turns 1, we send out a birthday celebration invitation, and then 2 and 3 and so on. Never does anyone say, “another birthday? Enough now, get over it.” Then why does society expect grieving Mom’s to “get over” the death of a son or daughter? 

Grief is still a huge part of my life. You see me smile and laugh, but I still feel the pain in my heart that will never heal. My happy face and smile is just a mask to cover up those feelings. The feeling of wanting something so bad and knowing that there is not even a glimpse of hope of getting it.

When I see other mothers surrounded by their children, the feeling of not ever having that takes over me. But I smile because I feel happy for that Mom and I wish her only the best, and I pray that she will never have to experience this heart-wrenching pain that will change her life forever. At the same time, I’m grateful for the amazing children I have now with me. Grateful for the wonderful son God gave me. Grateful for the time He allotted for me to spend with my son. And grateful because, even though Richie is not physically here with me, he is in spirit.

So, on this Mother’s Day, make sure to hug your child and let them know how much you love them. Make sure to allow time for your children because you never know when it will be the last. Moms love unconditionally so let them know. Me, well besides smothering my daughter and youngest son with love, I will continue to pray that no other mother experiences the pain of losing their child. And, if you know a grieving Mother, reach out to her, even if just to send her a hug. I’m sure she will appreciate it.

I still conserve the last Mother’s Day card he gave me.

Happy Mother’s Day to all!


Diary of a Grieving Mother’s Heart

Diary Of A Grieving Mother’s Heart is a compilation of my grieving journals, rants, sadness, and joy. I’ve been through many different scenarios – both good and bad – which have helped me reach the place of peace that I now have. I invite you to explore my journey in the hope that you, too, can reach that place of peace. I pray that, as it helped me, it will help you.

Available on Amazon in paperback and in Kindle version too.

Diary of a Grieving Mother’s Heart

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